On the night he learned his son had been killed in an attempted robbery, Azim Khamisa fell to his knees, but he believed the 14-year-old perpetrator was also a victim.
In 1995, his son Tariq Khamisa, a student at San Diego State University, was delivering pizza when he was confronted by a group of teenage gang members attempting a robbery. Tariq resisted, refusing to hand over the pizza to the youths. As Tariq drove away, Tony Hicks, a member of the gang, fatally shot him with a stolen gun.
At the time, Tony was 14 years old, while Tariq, aged 20, was pursuing his dream of becoming a photographer and preparing for marriage.
“The pain was indescribable. I felt like I had an out-of-body experience,” Azim recalls the night he learned of his son’s death.
However, just hours later, Azim, a practicing Muslim, felt a sense of enlightenment, as if “receiving a message from a higher power.” He realized there were two victims in the incident and that Tony alone was not responsible.
“The killer of my son was not just that 14-year-old, but society itself, it was because we haven’t addressed the issue of young people getting involved in gangs, drugs, alcohol,” Azim recounts his thoughts at the time.
He resolved that his life’s mission was to change this reality and do something unthinkable: find a way to forgive and befriend the person who killed his son.
Nine months after his son’s death, Azim established the Tariq Khamisa Foundation to promote safe environments in schools and communities, preventing young people from turning to crime.
He planned to establish the foundation after meeting Ples Felix, Tony’s grandfather, at the office of the lawyer defending the 14-year-old murderer. When approached by the victim’s father to fulfill their mission, Ples immediately agreed.
“I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in hatred and anger, ultimately only hurting myself. Someday, everyone will have to learn to forgive, which can create peace and change society,” said Azim, now 75 years old.
Over the next 28 years, Azim and Ples spoke at hundreds of meetings and events in schools and prisons, recounting the tragic murder case that brought them together.
Azim also sought to directly forgive Tony. Tony was in 8th grade when he committed the crime, becoming the youngest suspect in California to be tried as an adult. Tony was sentenced to a minimum of 25 years to life imprisonment (eligible for parole after 25 years if he demonstrates good behavior and rehabilitation).
Initially reluctant to meet with the victim’s father, Tony refused. “It made me uncomfortable, I felt unworthy of being forgiven for what I had done,” Tony recounted.
Five years later, Tony was finally ready to meet Azim. The two men talked for six hours at Folsom State Prison in California.
“It was one of the hardest conversations of my life,” Tony, now 43, recalled, saying Azim asked about that fateful night and the circumstances that led Tony to pull the trigger.
Tony was born when his mother was only 14 years old. Tony’s father was absent from his life. At age 9, his mother sent him to live with his grandfather, Ples.
“It made me feel abandoned by my mom. The neighborhood I lived in was filled with gangs, and most of my family members were involved with them,” Tony, who joined a gang in 6th grade, said.
When gang members urged Tony to shoot Tariq, he said he “didn’t really think about it.”
Listening to Tony recount his life story, Azim looked him in the eye, trying to understand the young man’s psyche. He said he forgave Tony, encouraging him to join the Tariq Khamisa Foundation upon his release from prison.
Both men felt a weight lifted off their shoulders after that conversation. “He gave me the opportunity to start learning how to forgive myself and those who hurt me in life. It’s been a slow and painful process,” Tony said.
Tony and Azim kept in touch. Some time later, Tasreen Khamisa, Azim’s daughter, also reached out to Tony while he was still in prison. She had struggled for 20 years with the pain of losing her brother, but then realized that Tariq was not the only victim. Tasreen began calling Tony weekly.
“I felt responsible for ensuring that Tony had the opportunity to heal his emotional wounds and find his life’s purpose,” Tasreen said.
For many years, Ples and Azim’s family became a support system for Tony, advocating for his release. “I tried to convince officials that Tony had a purpose and that it wasn’t behind bars,” Azim recounted.
In 2019, Tony was released from prison after serving 24 years, at the age of 38. Since his release, Tony has sought to reconcile with both his father and mother. He joined the board of the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, speaking at schools about his life story, encouraging students to stay away from gang life.
Tony said he’s rebuilding his life as a plumber. “It’s going to be a very slow process, but I’ve been doing well for the past 5 years,” Tony said.
He credits his current state to Azim’s family, whom he considers as his own. Azim also noted that Tony has become an integral part of the family. “I see him as a son.”
Every dinner, Azim often places Tariq’s portrait across from him and lights a candle.
“I believe my son would be proud of my decision to forgive Tony. In the future, there will surely be a day when Tariq and Tony meet again, discussing their journey of inspiring many wayward American youths,” Azim said.
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